My little family!

Monday, September 9, 2013

Colston Turns 3!

 My Colston Ance,

I near about have to slap myself in the face to make sure I'm not dreaming- that it's really been 3 years since I saw your adorable face.  It is still so amazing to me how fast these years have flown by, and your still just as precious to me, as the day I knew you existed.

I am still amazed by how much you have grown.  We had went to the Dr. when you were 2 years, 11 months, and you weighed 51 pounds, and were 41 inches tall.  That's the size of 4 to 5 year olds!  Shirt size is xs, pants 5, and shoe size 12.5, in the little boys section.

You LOVE your cowboy boots, you love to wear your cowboy hat too.  You recently outgrew your cowboy belt, and was very upset that it didn't fit anymore. ;)  You still love Thomas the train, tractors, dump trucks, heavy equipment, etc.  Your favorite outdoor toy is your (real) 4-wheeler Papa bought for you.  Second, is your swing set, you just love to swing!  Many evenings are spent with you with Mamma on her bike, and you riding your 4-wheeler, or playing on your swing set. 

Your favorite cartoons include Dora, Team Umi Zoomi, Bob the Builder, Tiger's Neighborhood, and backyardigans.  You still love all Thomas movies, The Polar Express, The Grinch, Cars, and Brave.  Recently, Momma & Nena took you to see the Monsters University movie, and you did very well. Also, Mommy took you to see Airplanes.  Just you and me. It was such a special time. You enjoyed watching the movie on the huge screen and eating popcorn! 

I know a lot of Mom's who constantly brag on their children for their smarts, but truly you are one smart cookie.  Not only do you look like a 4 year old, you act like one too.  Your maturity level constantly keeps me shaking my head.  Dr. McCrary even said, he looks like a 4 year old, and acts like one too.  :)  Your little personality is like none other.  You always have something funny and out of the norm to say.  When God created you, He certainly knew what he was doing!

The other night you were bitten by a couple of mosquitos on the side of your face, and I was looking at them.  You said Mom, it'll be alright, I just need some benedryl.  I nearly fell out!  lol  You are constantly keeping me in stitches. 

Although you are a Momma's baby, you are really beginning to follow your Daddy's evey single move.  You love to go everywhere he goes.  Cutting grass, running dogs, hunting, riding around in the "cool" truck, or just hanging out listening music.  Every morning and every afternoon he brings and picks you up from daycare, and I just love that.  It gives you two time alone with one another, and It's time that you boys certainly need.

On your birthday you'll be starting preschool.  I'm so excited, yet so devastated that it's already time for this.  I'm so excited to see what you'll learn, and put all those smarts you were blessed with to good use.  I'm just so sad that your such a big boy, starting a new phase in your life.  Although you are 3 now, you will ALWAYS be my baby. 

A few months before you turned 3, we moved you into the old guest room and made you a big boy room!  It's in heavy equipment, and you just love it!  You sleep so much better in your big bed, compared to your crib.  You were just running out of room in that crib! 

Every night before bedtime, you enjoy getting a book read to you.  Then we say our prayers, which you very proudly say "God is good, God is Great, Amen!!"  Then you tell me who all you want to pray for that night, and I pray over you, and off to sleep you go.

My Colston, you are such a loving child.  Your constantly telling those that are closest to you, how much you love them.  You have such a kind, and giving heart, and it truly shows!  We still struggle a little with sharing, but we're working on it!

I can't wait to see what this 3rd year of life holds for you.  Whatever it may be, I know you'll be great at it!  I love you buddy, to the moon and back.

I'll love you forever and ever.


Friday, May 17, 2013

Half a Decade...

I can hardly believe that it's been 5 years since I married my best friend, my love, my confident, my heart and soul, my husband.  It still seems like yesterday, but on the other hand like so very long ago. 

The day I married you, I loved you more than I ever had before, and as I write this today, I love you even more now than I did then.  Then, I just couldn't imagine my love being able to grow any more than it already had. 

You bring out the best in me.  You make me want to strive for the best.  You make me settle for no less than what I truly deserve.  You've made me the wife and mother than I am today. 

I love you more than life alone, Chris. 
Happy 5 years baby!!

Wednesday, May 15, 2013

A day in Chelsea's life...

Today's Day 15 of blog every day in May folks, and I've only missed 2 days blogging out of 15??  Holy cow, that says a lot.  Like A L O T.  Anyhoo...

It totally slipped my mind yesterday to take pictures of my actual day, but I'm going to give you the 411 of how I get my day started (during the work week, which is Monday through Friday.) 

4:30 AM: Alarm clock goes off.  I may or may not hit snooze once or twice.
4:40 AM:  Literally roll myself out of bed, and hop in the shower.
4:50 AM:  Dry off, and walk straight to the coffee pot.
5:00 AM:  Apply Make up, fix hair, and get dressed. 
5:25 AM:  Fix mine and Hubby's lunch and pack Colston's back pak, and wake Hubby up.
5:35 AM:  Leave for work.
6:00 AM:  Clock into work.
9:00 AM:  Break Time!
11:30 AM:  Lunch Time
2:30 PM:  Quittin' time.
3:00 PM:  Pick up Colston from Daycare.
3:30 PM:  Arrive home, and start dinner.
4:30 PM:  Eat dinner, clean kitchen.
5:00 PM:  Outside or inside play-time.  Whatever it might be.
7:00 PM:  Bath Time, for ALL of us! 
7:30 PM:  Colston's bedtime.
8:30 PM:  Bed time for me and Hubby.

Side Note:  This is just an estimate of our usual schedule when we have nothing to do but some home.  A couple days a week he has a t-ball game at 5PM too, which makes for a super hectic day when you throw in eating dinner before games and all.  But there you go! 

Sorry for no pictures too, I'll do better next time!  LOL

Tuesday, May 14, 2013

Happy Happy Happy!!

Today is day 14 over with Jenni @ Story of my life blog.  The challenge for today is pretty easy.. Ten things that make me happy... 
1.)  One of these bad boys, each and every.single.morning.  Possibly, 2. 

2.)  Waking up with these two

3.)  Cooking a REALLY great meal, and those that I'm feeding just LOVE it!
4.)  Sunshine & Summertime...
5.)  Finding a GREAT deal while shopping!
6.)  An extremely hot bath every single night before bed.
7.)  A super clean home. 
8.)  Memories from my childhood.
9.)  Over-hearing my husband brag on me being a great wife and Mommy..
10.)  Quality time with Family & Friends...
What makes you happy??  Feel free to link up!

Monday, May 13, 2013

I'm Sorry Christopher...

Welp.  Today is day 13 challenge over at Story of My Life blog with Jenni.  I'm really enjoying this daily link up, however some of these topics really have me soul searching... or maybe they are just taking me out of my comfort zone.  Whatever it is, it's time to cut to the chase. 

Dearest Hubby,
Who knew 7 years ago, when we met, that we'd be where we are today.  Engagement, marriage, pregnancy, baby loss, pregnancy again, and then bring home a baby.  Such a whirl wind of emotions when I think about it..
Who also knew what you'd have to deal with me.  I know I can be a mess at times, and very hard to understand and oh so very emotional and grumpy half of the time, but ya know that comes with stress and running a house hold while working full time and raising a baby boy, and his daddy!  lol
The truth is though, even though I seem hard to "get", I know you "get" me most.  You are the perfect piece to my puzzle.  You complete me, and I couldn't imagine my life without you.
So I'm so sorry that you have to deal with  my hormones, my post pregnancy body, my personal emotions, and my oh so crazy self!!  No way out now.. your stuck forever and ever.
Truth:  Sorry I'm not sorry!  haha
I love you.
I love this man more than he'll ever know...

Sunday, May 12, 2013

There was a time....

Day 12's challenge is what do you miss?  (Could be a person, thing, place, or time of your life)

This topic immediately took me back to high school. 
I'm also going to add just because I miss it doesn't mean that I want to go back.
Because that would just be crazy of me.
And we all know that I'm deff. not cray cray!

But in all seriousness, I most certainly miss high school.  It was the best days of my life and I had no clue.  If I only knew then what I Know now.... Things would have been so different.  I no longer have relationships with my best friend from high school, we do speak via Facebook, but that's as far as that goes.  If you would have asked me then if we would ever part ways, I would have put a million bucks on it to say not in a million years... we were bestie's, and bestie's don't stop being best friends, like ever.  But we did.

The memories.  Prom. Homecoming.  Football Games.  Baseball Games.  Parties.  Friends.  Boyfriends.  Best Friends.  Bowling Alley.  Swim Meets.  Classes.  Teachers.  Driving.  Pep Rallies. 

I could go on and on.  Those were deff the days. 

I'll always miss em'. 

If only they didn't fly by so darn fast.

Saturday, May 11, 2013

10 words or less..

The challenge for today is to sell yourself in 10 words or less!

Extremely Outgoing
People Person

Friday, May 10, 2013

How Embarrassing....

The blog everyday in May challenge has really got me to thinkin' today. Today is day 10, which forces us to tell our most embarrassing moment.... oh boy. 
Unfortunately for you guys, my MOST embarrassing moment is kind-of inappropriate for you guys, so I'll stick to a rather... ehhh... g rated we will say... lol.
I very strongly remember, when I was in second grade, slamming a door to the milk cooler in the cafeteria, on top of a milk carton, a chocolate milk carton.  The obv. happened, and the milk carton exploded in my face, in my hair, on my cute little romper, and I had to walk around for the rest of the day smelling like soured chocolate milk, with crusty nasty hair... oh the days I tell ya!
I also remember when me and my husband had not long been dating... and of corse I get the urge to pass gas, and there wasn't no holding it in.. completely.mortified!  Thank God he really loved me... lol.
I remember my first love in high school... while we weren't ever exclusively a couple, everyone just kinda knew I was "with him" and him likewise with me.  Long story short I got tired of him using that against me, and not taking me seriously how much I had cared about him.  So, what do I do??  I write him a very serious letter because that's what high school KIDS I told him how I could not continue to "love" him like I do, and be err "involed" with him, because I'm tired of the hurt and pain he is causing me by us casually being together.. well long story short he very ignorantly went home, emptied his pants pocket on the counter, and his lovely mother comes home and sees a letter sitting on the counter.  She of course reads it, and decides to play a joke on her son.  She tells him that my mother had called her to tell her that I was pregnant... and went along with it for a while.. (which is kinda funny, since it wasn't true, but still)  Knowing she read that letter about my feelings, and what was said was so humiliating ... I couldn't look her straight in the face.ever.again. 
S.N... when I was in high school and something really embarrassing would happen to me and my best friend, we would look at one another and say... How Embarrassing.. hence the title.. those were def. the good ole' days.. sigh..
And for your viewing pleasure, just a couple pictures from said high school days... lol
Junior Year, 2003.  Pointing at picture of said "first love."  haha

Oy Vey... Geez what was I thinkin... and further more who was I!!  haha

Thursday, May 9, 2013

Just one moment...

Today is Day 9 of the challenge.  The topic is "A moment in your day."
This "moment" was actually taken several days ago, however at least one moment or two our EVERY day is spent like this, swinging in a hammock or swinging on his swing set.  This boy LOVES to swing, and I love even more that I get to do it with him. <3


Wednesday, May 8, 2013

Loving the small stuff...

Welp.  Today's Day 8,  for blog over @ Story of my Life! 
Today's topic is "A piece of advice you have for others.  Anything at all."  You guys, this one is kinda hard for me.... it took me a while to ponder this topic too.

But the more I thought about it, the one "big" thing that kept coming to me was appreciating the ones you love.  I'm sure your thinking, well I do?  However, While this topic could be very broad I'm sure, mine is on a much smaller level.  "Taking things for granted."  Such as love, relationships, family, normalcy. 

Long story short, my older sister, Chantelle, is 37 years old, and a drug addict.  I never EVER imagined her taking this path in life.  Why would I, she was a normal wife, mother, daughter, sister, and friend to many. 

Looking back past this stage of her life, our relationship was so precious to me, but taken for granted so very much. I just always assumed she would live in her dream home, with her 3 beautiful children, and husband, and would always be there for me and like wise me there for her.  Little did I know 1 decision would alter her life for forever, and rock mine, and my family's lives to the center core. 

Having a drug user in your family is so hard, so emotional, and definitely SO un-predictable. 

Monumental choices have been made in my personal family that I never thought I would have to do, but it's my job as a Mother, and my husbands as a spouse, to make the best decision for US, for my two year old son.  Cutting all ties with her was the hardest things I'd have to do, but I did, because it was better for MY family.  I think it helps me to not see her like "that," too. 

I say all of these things for one reason. TRULY appreciate what you have: relationships, family, love, siblings, laughter, friendships, etc.  It could really be gone in a matter of seconds.  If I could only go back and hold onto every conversation, every hug, every tear, every kiss on the cheek, every minute we spent together, the birth of her youngest baby boy, time spent growing up.  It means the world to me, and until she chooses her family over using, then that's all I have to hold on to. 

I miss her like crazy,
& I  love her more than she'll ever know,
& I always, always will.


One of our many many days spent together. 2008

Me, Chantelle, and Josi  Spending the weekend with me after my miscarriage.  2009

Christmas 2009
Momma and Chantelle Christmas 2009

March 2010; Niece's 1st Birthday
My baby Boy Colston with Aunt Telle; March 2011

Tuesday, May 7, 2013

The thing(s) I'm most afraid of.....

Yea yea.  Today is Day 7, and I've managed to get in 5 (if you count today) blog post out of 7, for blog everyday in May challenge: not too shabby for me I shall say.  It's not as hard as I thought it would, and I've really enjoyed it, it's just remembering to do it!  Hah!  (Although I might add I had a post scheduled for Sunday but didn't post...whatev)
Today's topic is a thing, or thing(s) that I'm most afraid of.  I could go really broad on this topic and list a bazillion things that I'm petrified of rats, snakes, roaches, riding a horse, falling in a really deep hole, and soo soo much more, but there is one thing that really scares me to my core.. and that is losing someone that I love, more than life alone, my son. 
You know, after I lost my baby back in September of 09', I very quickly conceived again in December 09', and found out about 3 weeks later, literally.  Going through my first trimester was just terrifying and I feared each time I went to the rest room that I would see spots of blood, likewise before, and thankfully I never did.  Second trimester very slowly rolled around, and I was still just a terrified as I was in the first, because I miscarried the first week of my the second trimester. I constantly went to get ultrasounds just to make sure his heart was still beating away, it kind of became an obsession with making sure I was growing a live baby.  Still, with the third trimester, was very worrisome.  It was a tad bit easier not to worry as much because I lived for each kick, and each movement.  If the kicking wasn't happening when it usually did, insert panic mode.  You know, my opinion, you don't think about these kind of things until you have a baby loss, then it just consumes your thoughts.
FINALLY September 10' rolled around and we welcomed our 8.2 lb baby boy.. and life truly hasn't been the same... but I can't say that I still don't fear that something would happen to him.  The first week of November 10' he had just turned 8 weeks, and it was my first weekend off back to work.  It was Friday night, and we were doing our night time routine.  I was bathing him, and he spit up some of his formula, and in the process of trying to get it up, he aspirated some, and immediately turned pale, and very blue, and was completely lethargic.  Insert panic mode.  All I could think was not again, I can not go through this again.  I very vividly remember yelling and pleading with God for my baby's life in the car ride all the way to the hospital.  He very quickly came to and got his color back and was completely fine, but still after 2 years and 8 months I still worry about his life, I think that's part of being a mom, but I think it's also part of being a baby loss mother, too. 

His First ER trip when he had aspirated.

Saturday, May 4, 2013

My Favorite Quote...

Linking up with Story of my life Blog for 31 days of blogging in May..  If you forgot about it, or are just wanting to join in feel free to click on the link above!

Today's topic is "Your favorite Quote."

You know, I have several quotes that I can undoubtedly say that I love, but one that just pulls my heart strings, and hits home base with me is one I have read since losing my baby.  A baby that was taken from me and my husband way too soon.  A baby that I'll forever miss, and forever want.  A baby that I'll forever wonder what he/she looked like.  A baby that is forever on my frontal lobe. 

Since that God awful day, in September of 2009, we have since been blessed with another baby.  A baby that made me fulfill my dream of being a Momma.  My sweet Colston Ance that came just in time gave us a purpose and a hope.  Our boy.  If he only knew how bad we needed him, and just how bad we wanted him. 

A baby born after a loss is referred to  a "rainbow baby," and if your wondering why.. well here ya go.

The following quote reads "It is understood that the beauty of a rainbow does not negate the ravages of any storm.  When a rainbow appears, it does not mean that the storm never happened or that we are not still dealing with it's aftermath, it means that something beautiful and full of light has appeared in the midst of the darkness and clouds.  Storm clouds may still hover, but the rainbow provides a counterbalance of color, energy and HOPE."  -Small Birds Studio

It says it all. Period.


Friday, May 3, 2013

Things that make me uncomfortable....

Here we are, at day 3 with the blog every day in May challenge.  Today's topic is "Things that make me uncomfortable."  While brainstorming for this I've realized that there isn't much, but what few things I'll talk about.

1.  The first thing I can think about that makes me feel uncomfortable is being put in a situation, or conversation with something that I adamantly disagree with.  What makes it even worse is when it's just not appropriate to speak up about it.  I'm sure through the looks of my eyes, and gestures that they probably get the point, however I'm an extravert and what I think MUST be verbally said!  lol

2.  Second, Public speaking.  I hate, hate, hate having to speak out to a crowd of people, where all the attention is on me.  I do not like being center of attention, at all.  What's strange about it is I'm very outgoing, just not in dead front center of several people.  Needless to say speech in high school, and oral communications in college were not my favorite class. 

3.  Third, and from what I can think of, last, is using public restrooms.  It nearly makes my skin crawl when I think about how germy, and nasty those places are.  I've seen myself leave places, just because I had to use the restroom so badly, and couldn't bare to use the restroom... sometimes it's not that bad... It never fails, when me and my family is out in public my child has to use the restroom... and as many times as I've restrained his tiny little hands from touching the toilet paper dispenser, or toilet seat for that matter, the second I let go his hands go right where I just verbally told him not to touch.... can we say NASTY, GROSS, DISCUSTING!  Iccckkkk

I think that's it for now....