My little family!

Sunday, August 19, 2012

A day of hope....

    August 19, A day of Hope, A day to honor and remember the lives of babies, and children that could not stay here with us.  By doing this we are speaking out about the death of babies, whether it's through pregnancy, infant, or even child loss.

     Sweet baby of mine, 3 years have passed since I held you in my tummy for what seemed like the longest 13 weeks of my life.  But looking back, 13 weeks just wasn't long enough.  I long to know what you would have looked like, I long to know if you were a boy or girl, and I long until the day I get to hold you in my arms.  You were the greatest blessing I ever received, and I will be forever greatful for you.  You made me a Momma, even if it was only 13 very short weeks. 

     I still see you dancing on that monitor, moving and twisting about.  Hearing your heartbeat flutter - there wasn't a greater sound.  I still have your pictures, and I still have your video's of your very short life.  Since I said goodbye to you, I've never once been able to go through those pictures, or watch those video's.  Maybe one day, I will.

     Your brother Colston, would have loved to have you to play with.  When he is old enough, he will know about you.  He will know you existed, and he will know that because of you, he is here today.

     It is because of you, that I am a baby lost mother.  I still think about you  & I still and more than words will ever say, and I.always.will.

Love, Your Mommy

Tuesday, August 7, 2012


LOVING:  I am currently loving my hubby, my rock, the one who keeps me going.  The best Daddy to my son, and a great provider to his family.  I love this man more than I ever knew was imaginable. 

READING:  I JUST started reading 50 shades of Grey.... :) 

WAITING FOR:  September 28th to get here already.  I'm taking my baby boy to Tennessee to stay at the Choo Choo Inn Express, Ruby Falls, Look Out Mountain, the Aquarium, and a Train Ride... He is going to be soo excited!!

EXCITED ABOUT:  My baby's 2nd Birthday Party!!  Sept. 9!  We're doing a Choo Choo theme... he is going to die!! :)
      The cake I'm getting done!          The theme I decided to go with!

MISSING:  A great (or use to be great) friend of mine.  We no longer speak due to differences between her husband and  I (I'm guessing).  I think about her almost every day, and miss her more than words could say!!  :(

TRYING TO:  Loose just 5 more pounds... After I had Colston I lost 94 pounds, and have done exponetionally well keeping it off.  However, there is just 5 more pounds lagging, and it doesn't seem to want to budge.  I've seriously cut waaay back on my eating, and do cardio 4-5 times a week... I'm surprised I haven't given up yet, but I just want it off so darn bad!!  Grrr

WORKING ON:  Creating all of the party favor's for Colston's party.  I have all of it done except for these...

ENJOYING:  My sweet Colston Ance as much as possible before he's actually considered a Toddler... I can't believe it's been (almost) 2 years since I gave birth to my little chunker!!

USING:  The my fitness pal ap on the iPhone.. I love it, and it does help keep me in check with what I have eaten for the day, as well as my exercise and water intake too!

WATCHING:  Oh my goodness, I'm so guilty for watching the trashy reality t.v. shows.  For instance right now, The bachelor Pad.  :)  Other favorites consist of Sister wives, The little couple, Bachelor, Bachelorette, and so much  more.  Other shows I love are Grey's Anatomy, Private Practice, The duggars, The Little Couple, and so much more!

WEARING:  Today I'm wearing a new Marigold top from Banana Republic, Long dark denim jeans, with brown heels.  Have a long dangly pearl necklace with gold lace earrings.. :)

PLANNING:  Obviously I'm planning my baby's 2nd birthday party, but also our trip to Chattanooga, TN in just a month and a half!!

SINGING:  Today I'm singing this song...

                                  Love, Love, Love that song!!!

NEEDING:  To oh so desperately dust my home.. that is one chore that I just can't stand... also My cars needing to be washed and vaccumed very badly.. Ahem.. Hubby!  :)

LEARNING:  How to not let things bother me so much like they used to.  I'm always so hard on myself, because I let things bother me so much so that it causes problems with whoever/whatever was said... Life's too short to worry about 1 little problem or whatever the case may be!!

LISTENING:  To the Bellamy Brothers on my playlist  :)

WISHING:  That I would have never given up competetive swimming.. the exercise in that sport is sooo good!!  Watching the olympics has just made me completely envy those swimmers.... oh How it'd be so nice to go back to high school and be a swimmer again!! 

DOING:  Running.... or jogging, whichever you prefer to call it... I've never been much of a runner, but suddenly I have a desire to run, and I'm really loving it.  It's so freeing, and I feel so energized after doing so!

PRAYING FOR: God to show, Me or my Husband for that matter what church we should attend.  We're not the type of family to just not go to church, but unfortunately we haven't been in quite some time.  I want my son raised in a Godly home, but I want/need some direction on where to go..

DREAMING OF: Colston's 2nd Christmas.. I have a feeling it's going to be a blast this year, and just can't wait to see his face when he tears into each gift.. this should be something else!!

Monday, August 6, 2012

Choo Choo Colston's Turning 2...

     Look at my boy, just shy of 21 months old, acting like a big boy!!  Oh my Colston Ance, I can't even hardly believe it's time to write your 2nd birthday letter.  (Picture overload)

     You have accomplished so so much within one year!  You constantly are surprising me by what new things you've learned, or words you've began to say.  Your most used words, are Mommy, Daddy, Nena, Poppie, Popa, Mawmaw, Chris (daddy), Chaley, Chas (aunt), Jen jen (babysitter), jojo (Aunt and cousin), hey, no, Thomas, choo choo, eat, cup, drink, milk, cheetos, train, bye bye, swing, truck, car, house, bath, swim, Chelsea (me), chips, popsicle, t.v. on, outside, blankie and so much more that I can't even being to remember.. those just stand out in my mind.  Of corse the words aren't properly pronounced, some things are better said than the others though...

     You recently began speaking in sentences, such as Dada I want you, Get up dada or mommy, I want eat, go to nena's house, go outside, swing Mommy (daddy) I want sip, (more but can't think).

     You will sing along with songs, that you have heard a few times, such as ALLL of the Thomas the Train sing along songs.  Your alphabet song, and number counting song, that hangs on the refridgerator, you'll sing along with that as well.  You can also sing along to the Team Umi Zoomie theme song, as well as Dora the Explorer. 

     You have begun to hate bath time, simply because I think you relate it to bed time now... and you like staying up late with Mommy and Daddy as opposed going to bed like a good little boy.


    You LOVE outside time, I think you would sleep outside if we would let you.  Normally, you cry, or even throw a temper tantrum when told to go inside.  You absolutely love playing in the dirt, with your dump trucks, front loaders, etc.  When you are finally forced to come inside, your usually covered in dirt from the top of your head to the tips of your toes.  The bath usually has a dark ring around it from your dirtiness.  You are most def. all boy!!

      Your favorite thing/things is Thomas the Train.  You could seriously watch Thomas, play with Thomas, eat, sleep, and breath Thomas the train.  You love to wear Thomas the train clothes, love to read Thomas the train books, and love to HOLD, yes hold Thomas the train DVD's. Your newest item is your Thomas the train blanket.  You like to hold/carry it around too, but your still love your blankie (silk blanket).

     Your last sick visit to the Dr. you weighed 35.4 pounds, wearing size 5 diapers, wearing 2t clothes, and size 8 or 9 shoe. 

     When you were 22 months I tried to begin slowly potty training you, and you did a fantastic job the first day!  One accident alll day long, went to Slidell, LA, then to Poplarville, MS, and back home, and you never had one single accident.  You even pooped on the potty!  Slept through the night in your big boy underwear, woke up the next morning with a totally different attitude!!  You no longer liked the potty chair, or the potty seat for the toilet.  I was so frustrated with this, but decided to back off and try again after you turned 2.  I know you can do it, you did it already!  With your daddy's stubborn ways, I know you'll do it whenever you think your ready!!

     I bought you all 2t clothes at the beginning of the summer, and all of them were slightly big on you... I had no idea we'd be pushing it for you to finish out wearing them for the summer... I just refuse to go buy you more summer clothes for you to only wear another month (or two).  :)  I also bought you all size 8 shoes for the summer as well, and what do you know, we're also really stretching it.... hope that doesn't make me a bad momma! 



     It was such a great year watching you learn, and grow into such a fine little toddler!  Your so sweet, and caring, and loving, with such the greatest personality.  Your very persistent, and know just what you want.  You don't give up, and you are very strong willed.  This challenges Momma and Daddy a lot, but I know it will be great traits when you get older.  You make us proud to be your parents baby!

     Colston Ance, the past 2 year have been one heck of a ride, and I couldn't imagine being a Momma, to anyone other than you.  You bring us so much joy, and laughter and make our roles as your parents that much more fun!  We love you to the moon and back baby!! 

<3- Mommy and Daddy